You're Really Roaming the Playgrounds of Lower Thinking Pal!

Hello kids! Today in class we're going to discuss the meaning of the phrases: Inappropriate Button... say it with me - Inappropriate Button! (it's best to say with a really bad British accent) and our other phrase we will be discussing is Social Filter.... can you all say that one - Social Filter? Good Work!

Okay, enough of that! So I grew up in a little po-dunk town called Virden in the province of Manitoba. Now Virden seems like a really nice, quaint, simple little town to someone who hasn't stayed there longer than a few hours. This, however, is not the case. This sweet, clean town is in fact a facade, a hoax, a ruse if you will. Virden has the highest rate of teenage pregnancies per capita in Canada (or so I'm told, but I believe it). I have no idea why our little town would have more than other towns in Manitoba, my reasoning is just that there really isn't anything better to do there....
But this sort of reputation has many drawbacks and side effects attached to such a lucrative title. You see if you grow up in a town whose only other claim to fame is bad water, you tend to start developing certain attitudes and habits that you may not have had growing up in a different place.
One for example, is thinking and saying very innappropriate things. I quite often struggle with this because usually it's the wrong thing to say that pops into my head first. Thankfully most of my close friends realize and expect this from me, and I'm given much grace for my socially outcast upbringing.
Fortunately I'm not the only one who grew up in the Virden area who struggles with saying things that they shouldn't. I have a friend named Andrew (or Uncle Clarence) who tends to always say the wrong thing at the wrong time. Case in point: telling me I had a nice rack at a super bad time. He really doesn't mean to do it, and you know that usually he is trying to say something else, but it just always comes out wrong.
For Andrew's little problem we developed something called the 'Inappropriate Button'. It's actually an invisible button that we press when Andrew should've stopped talking a few sentences ago. It has since been used on many more people then just Andrew and has always proved effective.
When I moved to Brandon I discovered a variation on the infamous button called the 'Social Filter' which was used mostly for an old friend who incidentally used to spend a lot of time in Virden named Thomas. In this variation when Thomas (like Andrew) should've stopped talking long ago people would simply yell "SOCIAL FILTER". It also proved quite effective.
So this is my universal apology to you, from all the people who have been corrupted by my little home town. I'm so very sorry! And if you ever hear me mutter something under my breath that sounds like 'wow, I wish I wasn't from Virden' you will know why, I've done the smart thing and not let whatever was swirling around in my mind come blasting forth through my mouth.

Class dismissed!