We All Live Happily Ever After or Die of Horrible Curses...

Wouldn't it be lovely to live in a fairy tale? To know that 'happily ever after' was actually an option? To be on the lookout for your prince charming on the horizon, riding in on his white stallion, or y'know a half-man/ half-wolf swinging through a castle window in a very bad attempt to save you from some inept trolls ("Suck an elf!")
Sorry, got sidetracked there for a minute, Mike, Terrin, you know exactly what I'm talking about! "You have a Tail!!!!" Okay, sorry again, moving on...
This particular entry will be similar to my last one, so if you didn't like my last one, stop reading now, and if you did? I'll try not to repeat myself.
Ephesians 5:33 says, "However each of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." Do you ever wonder why God wanted to emphasize those specific directives to a woman and a man? Considering the fact that God created men and women, and created them so blatantly different, it might be wise to ponder this statement in order to try to understand the complexity of the male/female relationship. Now on my last blog I went into detail as to why respect is so important to a man, now I don't see a man's need for respect and affirmation as a bad thing, or something to be ashamed of, God made the male species with that need for a reason. I think the most important reason for this need is so that men can draw that needed affirmation from God, to be affirmed in the knowledge that he is a child of the Almighty. I think it is also important for men to realize that they need to go to God for that affirmation first and foremost, however, with that being said I also think it is important for women to affirm their husbands/boyfriends, and sons because that will deepen and strengthen the relationship they will have with those particular men. I'm not going to go into great detail about the issue of respect for a man because, as I have already stated, my last blog was almost entirely devoted to that.
Today I would really like to focus on the issue of love and why women need to feel loved, just as men need to be respected, and why these needs are so different and important in their own way. Please remember that God made women and men like this for a reason, and I'm sure it's more than just for entertainment sake. ;)
The dictionary in the back of my bible defines love as: strong affection, desire or devotion. My social psychology text book breaks love down into two categories in order to describe it:
Companionate love: the feelings of intimacy and affection we feel toward someone with whom are lives are deeply intertwined.
Passionate love: an intense longing for another person, when things are going well - the other person loves us, too - we feel a great deal of ecstasy, when things are not going well, we feel a great deal of sadness and despair.

My text book also goes on to describe the triangular theory of love which depicts love as comprising three basic ingredients: intimacy, passion, and committment. I find it interesting that in this theory that all three parts are required in order to be considered love. In the Greek language there are also 4 different words that can be translated into the word 'love', but they all have different meanings.
Eros: romantic love (in ancient greek, desire)
Philia: friendship love (platonic)
Agape: divine, unconditioned love
Storge: natural affection
( I really hope I got those right because if I haven't, every bible school student who once was in school or is currently enrolled will slaughter me if explained those wrong. Forgive me I go to Brandon University!)
Clearly there is much fascination with the concept of "love". It is mentioned in the Bible multiple times, it is defined in my psych textbooks, the Greeks had 4 different ways to describe it! So if it is so important why did God not command the wife to love her husband? Guess what! Because it's not an issue!!!! Women are hardwired to love, God made us in such a way that loving (especially when it comes to that special guy in our life) is not something that needs to be asked of us. It's like putting cheesecake in front of Jill, Susan and I, and pleading with us to eat it! Let me tell you, that is not neccessary!!! A wonderful lady by the name of Donna Lynch broke it down for a group of us girls years ago at Sonlife Bible Camp. She explained that men are task oriented, God has oriented them to the task at hand, leadership and living a life honouring to God. Women, however, are relational rather than task oriented, God has oriented the woman to the man. Donna suggested that this 'orientation to the man' occurs primarily during physical relations, the idea being the more physical you are with someone the more oriented you are to that person, which is why it is important that we are careful of who we become intimate with and why God commands that sex remain in the confines of marriage. Let me be very clear, this is unique to women! Men are not wired in the same way. Which is why the command to love your spouse is directed to the man, not the woman.
I mentioned earlier that our instinct as women is to love, how is this for a twist? Men feel loved if they are respected. So if you really want to love your man you need to respect him. Now I know most women don't see the two as the same thing, or even remotely connected, because we experience love differently than men do (we're hardwired differently, remember?). But that is most likely why the command to respect and submit to our husbands is directed at us. Isn't it funny to know that God knew this was always going to be an issue enough to put it in the Bible, it's kind of like a timeless classic.
Emerson E. Eggerichs calls this phenomenon 'The Crazy Cycle', which is composed by two main ideas:
Without Love: she reacts!
Without Respect: he reacts!
And that is basically the complexity of the male/female relationship broken down to it's simplest form...

Until next time.
Stay Fit and Have Fun :P